As most of our family and friends know, we are expecting another baby! Yeah, so exciting! What many people don't know is that "getting" pregnant has been a struggle in the past for us. At least for Braxton that was the case. We never were bold on telling people that because for me, at the time, it was depressing, hard, and you feel like you're a messed up human being. In fact I've debated about publicly announcing our issues with conceiving on here in fear of judgement or whatever other reasons I may have thought of. But in the end and after talking with lots of other people, either friends, or coworkers, or the patients I have taken care of at the hospital, I soon came to realize that there are MANY people out there too who struggle with fertility. So I've decided to write this post, only to maybe help any of my friends and family out there that do struggle with fertility and are possibly looking for answers. Or maybe this could help friends and family help answer there friends or family that are searching for help. Either way, I hope this post will help answer some of the very same questions that I had only two years ago. I know very well that if someone would have posted something like this two years ago, I would have read it and searched for answers in what I myself could do to conceive a child.
So, how our little Braxton came to be, minus the lovie dovie part of it. We tried for 8 months to get pregnant on our own. For those of you who get pregnant easily, you are one lucky duck. Because for a woman that is trying to get pregnant and having no luck with it, negative after negative, month after month, it can be SOOOOO depressing, frustrating, and just sad. Not only was the "Not getting pregnant part" frustrating, but my menstrual cycles where never regular. They would be anywhere from 35 days to 50+ days which made matters even worse because I would sometimes think, "Oh, maybe I'm pregnant this time due to being cycle day 52 etc." And all you'd get is a negative on a stick. I truly believe having a messed up cycle is one of the worst things to deal with just because it can make a person think, several times at different periods of their cycle, "Well maybe I'll be pregnant this time around!" ... and really not be. I have never really had a regular cylce, and by "regular" I mean the normal 28 days on a consistent basis or any number of days be consistent for that matter. This is just how it has always been for me, ever since my teen years. Which honestly, being consistent was never really a big deal to me and never drove me crazy until trying to have a baby. Anyhow, so after 8 months of trying my wonderful friend and I got talking about pregnancy and fertility.
(Just a little sidenote) I am sooo grateful we where close enough friends to have this conversation. I am grateful she was brave enough and cared enough to open up and share with me her own struggles with getting pregnant. She actually shared with me how "fertility help" was her current plan of action for getting pregnant. What a blessing and an answer to our prayers this friend truly was. This friend is one of the reasons I write this today. I write this post to maybe help out any of my facebook friends or family that too are struggling and looking for answers as well.
Anyhow, some of the patients I have taken care of at the hospital in the past have said they had tried for five plus years before getting the courage to try fertility. That is five plus years of their life that they might have missed out on a baby or two. Eight months was hard enough for me. I can't even imagine going through that pain and struggle for five years. And coming from a women's perspective, I truly think going to a fertility specialist is a hard thing to do and can be very nerve wracking. First off, you don't know who to go to, where to go, or who to talk to, or what to expect when you get there. (As for another reason I write this post). So once again, I'm just so thankful and blessed to have had a friend at that time who also lived in Utah who was not shy or nervous about telling me about her fertility struggle and for her to open up my eyes to the endless possibilities of fertility help.
So onward we go. My friend "Georgette" (different name than real life) was doing fertility. Which then led to my questions ... who, what, when, why, how, etc. So after a long talk with her getting answers to my questions and learning more about it, I thought, "Well maybe I'll give fertility a try too." She first gave me a name of an OBGYN that she was going to. This OB, like most OB's, just start with medication like clomid or femera. These pills are suppose to regulate you which should "USUALLY" work at helping people get pregnant. Luckily for me Georgette had been going to her OB for a couple of months now and was able to educate me on what was going to happen to me when I went. Over the months of Georgette trying, they just kept increasing her dose, which wasn't working, but the MD figured they would try that a couple more times. So with that being said, I decided to set up an appointment to go to that same OBGYN as well so we could kind of be in the same process together. The doctor ordered me a low dose of clomid to start off on, by than Georgette was on a higher dose. We did this trial phase a couple of menstrual cycles. It wasn't working for either of us. Georgette was on her last trial of her increased dose, which too didn't work. So with that being said, the doctor recommended my friend Georgette to see a fertility specialist in Utah while I was to continue trying a higher dose.
So after another trial of no luck for me, I talked to my friend Georgette and heard how AMAZING this fertility place was that she was referred too! And I, being the impatient person I am, thought to myself, I'm just going to skip all this trial stuff with the OB doctor and go straight to the fertility place too. I know ... I have no patience at all ... but it just gets so depressing. Anyhow, onto the great stuff! This is a top of the notch type of fertility place! It's called "Utah Fertility Center" with Dr. Foulk, Dr. Gurtcheff, and Dr. Conway. The main doctor in charge is Foulk and he has had such a high success rate and is so well known for it. Heck he has even been seen on "Oprah" as well! Crazy eh! Ya, so anyway, I called to schedule an appointment. Unfortunately they couldn't get me in for a first "get to know you visit/consult" for two months! Boy this place is busy with patients. So two months later and filling out 20+ pages worth of paperwork, the doctor met with me and said I qualified. I think for those who don't at least try other options for at least 6 months to a year don't qualify for help yet until they too have been through the preliminaries like Georgette and I. Although I do think they would help those people that haven't tried any doctor or meds yet either. Who knows though ... I would advise anyone to give them a shot, the worse they could say is no, but I do think that is rare. Jackson and I absolutely loved this place!! They where kind to us, so well organized there, and we didn't feel weird or different. In fact they told us exactly what the plan was and what they were going to do for me. It's like they knew exactly what needed to be done. It was great, they where so on top of everything.
Alright, so what happens next?? To educate anyone that might go to them, they look into everything and check EVERYTHING out, everything that is "baby making" related. And when I say everything, Jackson was included in the testing. No worries men, it's just a sperm check, no naked business or physical exam for you. Jackson of course was not the issue, which is what I kind of figured since I was the one with irregular cycles. So for me, my check-up was more in-depth, which I'm thankful for. They did blood work, a pee test, and an ultrasound that very day just to check and make sure everything was where it's suppose to be and rule out possible complications or reasons as to why I wasn't getting pregnant. And luckily for me, everything came back great! Everything looked great. I didn't even have Polyscystic ovarian syndrome, which is a disease quite common in women with irregular cycles like myself. So there you have it ... nothing was wrong with me ... so why am I not getting pregnant? Luckily for me, these specialists didn't send me away even though everything looked great,. They once again knew exactly what to do. The doctor said, "Lets try a dose of Clomid again along with some other steps to the process." My answer to her was this, "Can we just skip the clomid pill and try the femera instead?" in fear that clomid wouldn't work again. The doctor was totally fine with that.
So these are the steps I had to follow. They are very particular about these steps and have great instructions for everything, which I loved! (I could be a little off on the days I'm about to explain cause it's been two years but close enough for educational purposes). When you start your menstrual cycle, which is the very first day you bleed, is when you actually start femera. You take the pill daily for 7 (I think) days. On day 12 (I think), you go into the office and get an ultrasound done to see if one of your eggs in your ovaries have matured since that is what Clomid and Femera are suppose to do. So I did just that and sure enough, I had one mature egg show up on the ultrasound. They figure this out by measuring the eggs that they can see in the ovaries. This is where some people too can discover that they might have more than one egg mature, which can lead to twins/triplets etc. There have been times where people have come in before and where told the femara dose needed to be increased due to no mature eggs present. Which puts a hold on moving forward with phase two. Luckily for me, I passed phase one, phew! :)
Onto phase two! So yay, phase one for me complete. Next step was to give myself the HCG shot (a hormone to make your body release that mature egg from the ovary into the fallopian tube, hopefully) in the abdomen the very next day after your ultrasound and have sex on day 2 and 3 or something like that, I can't remember all the specifics. They then said after that process is done you have to wait for a couple of weeks and go in to the lab and get a blood test done on day 30 to see if you were pregnant or not. They said NOT to take a pregnancy test while you wait because it will read positive due to the HCG shot that is in your system.
Well let me tell ya, that was the longest month of my life, not knowing what to expect. In fact Georgette did all these steps as well and was a whole two weeks ahead of me. So when she got to day 30, her blood work showed that she was NOT pregnant. Which made me all depressed and start to think that it didn't work for me as well. I of course still had a small percent of hope but didn't have my hopes set too high after hearing that she wasn't pregnant. So "THE" day has arrived and I went in as early as possible to get my blood drawn. I called the fertility place to tell them what facility had my blood work and they said they would know within a couple of hours. I didn't find out till 4PM that day! And the only reason I found out was because I gave them a call. I sat around all day, watching movies, trying to keep myself busy, trying not to think about it, but by 4PM I couldn't wait anymore and I had to call. I thought I was pretty patient waiting all day like that. In fact they apologized and said they were sorry for not getting back to me sooner but I'll never forget the exact words that came next! "Congratulations, your pregnant." My heart sank at that moment and I instantly said, "What? Really? What was my HCG level?" They told me the normal values for pregnancy and than told me what mine were which proved that I was sure enough pregnant. So much excitement! It worked! It finally worked! It even worked the FIRST month with them! I was so impressed with them. Even after finding out I was pregnant, they kept tabs on me. They had me go in at 7 weeks prego to get another ultrasound done to make sure everything looked and measured the way it should be. And than I had another check up at 10 or 12 weeks, (I can't remember) for another ultrasound. Everything looked great! After the last check up of positive pregnancy I had with them, they faxed my file off to the OB doc of my choosing. I am soooo entirely impressed with this fertility place. And for anyone else that is curious, my friend Georgette did get pregnant after two more trials of increasing the dose and adding a couple other steps to the process. So great! I'd go back to them in a heartbeat! Seriously, if you are someone desperately trying, fertility was the best option Jackson and I have ever made. They have many many more options out there and do more in-depth type of work for those who may need it. I'm just grateful I was such an easy case for them. My story truly is just the very first chapter to all of the many options or possibilities of fertility.
Nine months later I had a baby. Well, what about getting pregnant again? I of course wasn't thinking about getting pregnant nine months after that, but was thinking about what I should do when Braxton would turn one. Would we have to do fertility again? What will happen? Will my body know what to do now that it has been pregnant? Well for the time being, Jackson and I figured we should prevent getting pregnant just in case being pregnant with Braxton might have fixed my need for fertility. Well, our baby grew up and after much discussion, we decided we wouldn't prevent anymore in the beginning of December 2013 and just see what happens. Well preventing went away and once again my cycles where all over the board as far as how many days each one was. Sometime during the last year, I was educated on herbs and how they can regulate cycles. So come February, I remembered what I had heard about the herbal medicines so I thought I would give that a try, just to regulate me. I was in Idaho Falls at the time I remembered about the herbs so I decided to go to the "Wealth of Health" store up there. I talked with one of the workers there about how I heard there where some herbs that can actual regulate your cycle and asked if she could help me. She knew exactly what I was talking about and suggested I take, "Saw Palmetto Berries", "Femaprin vitex extract", and "Vitamin B-6". She said to take one capsule of each every morning and night. So I started that exact process the end of January/beginning of February. I was actually really faithful about taking these pills when I was suppose to. In fact my very next cycle ended up being 28 days. So after having a 28 day cycle, I thought, well heck I'll just quit taking them now, it obviously isn't working since I haven't gotten pregnant at the time of realizing I had a 28 day cycle.
Well, come the night of April 19th (the day before Easter) I was sitting at work talking to a close friend at work complaining about how my cycles are all screwed up again. I said, "Man, I'm all screwed up, it's been 43 days since my last period and I still haven't had one yet." My friend instantly said, "Forty-three days? Shoot, I would have taken a pregnancy test by now." I chuckled and said, "Why should I, they always come back negative for me." I than asked, "Well when would you have taken one?" She said, "Like around day 30/32." So I just thought about it all night while working, thinking in the back of my mind that there was no way I would be pregnant. Of course a little small percent of me thought, well maybe I was. I was more on the doubt end of it though and figured there was no way I was pregnant. I had taken so many tests due to irregular cycles during that year of trying before getting prego with Braxton and had never had a positive one before, why now?
Anyhow, Easter morning arrived and I left work. As I was driving home, I thought to myself, well maybe I'll take a pregnancy test. So I stopped at the store before getting home and bought some cheap brand because pregnancy tests can be quite expensive and I hate wasting money on those tests. I got home and said hi to Jackson who was making breakfast for us and than I instantly went to the bathroom. I usually don't tell Jackson when I am taking a pregnancy test because of the amount of negatives I have gotten in the past. Well, there I was alone in the bathroom. I just sat and watched the stick change before my eyes. HOLY CRAP! The stick said I was pregnant! I didn't believe it. I think I might have been shaking even, due to the adrenaline rush I was having. Could it be? Was I really pregnant?? I sat and stared at it for a good 5 minutes before getting up. The longer I stared at it the more concrete it became in my mind that I could maybe really be pregnant. So than I thought, well how should I tell Jackson? It would be fun to be creative and tell him some fun way but I was still in shock and didn't have the time to come up with some crazy way to tell him plus I still had a little doubt about it. So I just figured I'd show him the stick and let him see for himself, haha.
As I walked out of our room, I see him in the kitchen cooking eggs and I just walk up to him and hand him the stick. I didn't say a word. He looked at it and looked back up at me in the look of a question and said, "So??? What does this mean?" I said, "Well, I guess I'm pregnant." Jackson actually than said, "I don't believe it and probably won't until I have more proof." That just goes to show you how hard it has been for us to get pregnant in the past for him to have doubt as well. We both had a hard time believing it. Well I decided I'd sit at the table and look at my calender and actually try to figure out how far along I was if I was to be pregnant. So after calculating and figuring it all out, I calculated that I would be 6 weeks pregnant. As I kept trying to put the pieces to the puzzle together, I soon realized that the cycle before this was exactly 28 days, so than I got to thinking that maybe the herbs did work?? How could I have not known? I really never have had any signs or symptoms of pregnancy with Braxton for me to even think I might be pregnant.
So there you have it, my fertility stories. Jackson and I where both a bit skeptical but soon believed it once I took another test two weeks later and once I officially talked to my OB doctor and had an ultrasound that sure enough confirmed it. I'm just so glad my friend at work talked me into getting a pregnancy test. Because I honestly don't know if I would have ever taken a test. The funny thing is, I had an appointment in May already scheduled for me to consult with the same fertility specialist to talk about a time to start the fertility process again. Could you imagine how dumb I would have looked, haha. Me going to the fertility consult in May to only find out I was actually pregnant ... by than I would have been 9 weeks pregnant.
My pregnancy tests, and yes I took a picture of it. I have never had a positive test before. It was exciting for me! I honestly wondered if I'd ever find out I was prego with a pregnancy test.
This was the first test I took.
The test I took ten days later. A little bit more solid of a line don't ya think?
Well, good news, I am still very pregnant to this day and 19 weeks along. My advice to women who struggle with fertility or even with having regular cycles are: "Don't give up!" Maybe give these herbs a try and if you're still not regular and still not pregnant after a few months of herbs, go see a fertility specialist and seek help. I am a true believer in fertility and I'm so grateful that we went with it. I'm also very grateful that I have been able to have children myself. I really do think I would still be trying to get pregnant to this very day if I would have never stepped out of my comfort zone and tried fertility myself. After working in Postpartum and hearing about the amount of years it has taken for some people to finally receive their first child 5-10 years later, I truly do believe that fertility was an answer to our prayers and is there to help those who really do want to have children.
In conclusion, I do want to add that as wonderful as fertility may be for some, no matter how great the specialists may be or the knowledge they may have, there have been cituations or times when fertility help may not work. In the end, everything is in the Lord's plan and in the Lord's time. I do look up and admire those who have tried and tried only to not be able to conceive but then have opened up their hearts and homes to foster children and/or adoption. There are children out there who need to be loved and who just happen to come to their family a different way then other children. I love the Michael McLean song, "From God's Arms, to My Arms, to Yours." God loves all of his children and He has a plan for each one of us! For that knowledge I am eternally grateful!
